First Infusion

Today marks my first Remicade infusion. When we first arrived, my blood pressure was through the roof, due to nerves. The flash drive brochure they sent in the mail to prepare me for this day was, not unlike pharmaceutical commercials, chock full of side effect warnings. Pretty scary stuff, indeed. Forewarned is forearmed I suppose. So far, so good. I have run the gamut of emotions: anxiety, depression, full out crying, and of course anger (not directed at anyone, just at the idea of me of all people having Crohn's). The nurses are nice and quite attentive. Charlie is worried. That's his job, the worrier. He is good at it, as my glass is always full and he usually can't find his. We are ever hopeful that the infusions will begin the healing necessary to halt the progression of my Crohn's disease. A day without pain would be joyful! A day without pain killers would be even better! The thing I keep in my heart and mind is that so many people have to endure so many things much worse than I. I put them in my God box.

I included a picture of myself, which I may delete later. My hair is falling out due to 4 bouts of anesthesia and steroids. Vanity will surely play it's part in the deletion. Oh and, the "round face" is a side effect of the steroids (joy)! I am not normally a vain woman, heck, many days I don't wear makeup, but I do love my hair! So, if missing my once luxurious mane is being vain, then I whole heartedly admit it! Maybe I'll cut it off. I've always loved Judy Dench's haircut!